Broken Tools
by Sentai-Rider Fan
Summary: Tools can be broken, used and discarded, but they can also be reforged into something stronger and better. Luxanna is unable to sleep at night and she goes to a secluded place where she meets with the Exiled. The two of them talk and Riven hears the painful past of Demacia's shining beacon of hope.


**Hello everyone. Thanks for reading my story, this is my first League of Legends fanfiction and I hope you all enjoy it. I would appreciate any constructive criticism that you might have so I can grow as a writer. Other than that I hope you all enjoy it. **

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Luxanna stared at the ceiling for what seemed like a lifetime before she finally admitted that she wasn't going to sleep anytime soon. Sighing she got up and sat at the edge of her bed and wondered how it is that other people were able to sleep so peacefully. She placed a hand on her chest as she remembered Riven's sword piercing her as blood poured out of her mouth, she remembered the pain in such vividness that she hissed in pain as though the experience happened just now instead of hours ago. She closed her eyes and tried to picture the scene. The light dancing on Riven's blade, the feeling of death looming close to her as each breath bought pain instead of relief, the sound around her dulling with each passing moment, but most importantly were Riven's eyes. Instead of the hatred and satisfaction that Noxian Champions had when they killed a Demacian Champion it was instead filled with pity and apologies as Riven mumbled something. At the time Luxanna paid no heed to it as she had other pressing matters to worry about, but now in the cool night she remembered what she was mumbling:

"_I'm sorry…"_

That struck Luxanna as odd. Why would a Noxian, Demacia's enemy and vice-versa, would apologise to her? Of course Luxanna had heard who Riven was, her past services, and how she came to be who she was right now. But even if she was an exiled warrior it did not mean that she should show mercy towards Demacians, or even apologies, as no matter how hard Luxanna tried to think about it she couldn't find an answer. Looking at her clock she saw that it was two in the morning and she had a match in less than six hours and she was no closer to sleeping than she was before.

Knowing that it was useless to force sleep on herself she decided to take a walk around the Institute. Of course everyone was advised not to wander around the Institute after dark due to the tendencies for 'accidents' to occur, but Luxanna was skilled enough to prevent any assassins from touching her. She activated her natural invisibility spell not wanting to meet with any Demacian guards knowing that they would be too chatty for her liking as she wasn't in the mood to talk to anyone at the moment. She slipped past them and out the door into the main hall where it was quiet, too quiet, unlike during the day where it was always filled with people and very lively.

The Institute in fact felt more like a tomb as the air felt cold, very cold, and she wondered if Karthus was wondering around. Certainly his powers as a Lich could cause the air to chill though the same could be said of Aniva considering her powers as Cryophoenix. But there neither Champions were in sight as Luxanna made her way to a secluded part of the Institute where nobody rarely went to, but it gave anyone who came at the right time the perfect vantage point to see the night sky. Luxanna often came here when she couldn't sleep or if something was bothering her. It helped her clear her mind and she would often also fall asleep at that spot, thankfully no one had found her or else her brother would never let her out of her room ever again.

She was surprised though to find someone there tonight and her eyes widened when she saw who it was. Riven, sitting down on a ledge, staring out to the night sky with a lonely look on her face as she sighed to herself with an equally forlorn tone. Who would have thought that she would be able to meet her killer at the match tonight of all times and in a place where nobody rarely ventured to. If she was an assassin she would've thought that this was a blessing from the gods.

But Luxanna was not an assassin and after spending a considerable time being one as well as being a spy she vowed to never again take a life other than that necessary for the League matches. She thought about talking with Riven, but she had no idea how the white haired woman would react to a Demacian talking to her and therefore she thought it would be best to leave her alone for the night and began to walk away. Unfortunately she wasn't so lucky, either that or her covert skills have slipped, as Riven turned around while glaring at the darkness. "Who's there? I know that there's someone behind me…show yourself," she said in a quiet, but firm voice.

There was still the chance for Luxanna to walk away. After all Riven didn't know that it was her that was behind her and if anyone asked she could just say that she was in her bed at the time. The guards would confirm that since they didn't see her leave. However her curiosity, and perhaps personality, got the better of her as she took off her invisibility spell as she heard Riven gasp slightly, "Luxanna Crownguard," she whispered.

"The one and only," Luxanna said with a brief smile.

"What are you doing here?" Riven asked.

"I could ask you the same though I suspect that my answer would be similar to yours," Luxanna replied.

"Really?" Riven asked raising an eyebrow as Luxanna giggled, "I find it hard to imagine that you would come up here just to look at the night sky."

"Why's that?"

"Because I heard that proper Demacian women don't speak with Noxians…well that rule applies to all Demacians in general."

"You can't paint us with the same brush…I mean I could easily say that all Noxians are rude and just love fighting," Luxanna said with a huff and this time it was Riven's turn to giggle.

"Well we do love fighting and we are a little coarse…but overall I think we're as normal as any Demacians," Riven said as Luxanna smiled. "Come on…you want to have a seat?"

Luxanna raised an eyebrow, but she didn't hesitate as she walked up and sat next to Riven, "So…I guess you're here because you can't sleep?" she asked.

"I thought you said your answer is going to be the same as mine?" Riven asked.

"And that would've been my answer…I can't seem to sleep tonight. I sometimes come here when that happens," Luxanna replied.

"Ah…even though you have a League match early in the morning?" Riven asked.

"Yeah…I guess I'll just have to make do with no sleep."

"You know back in Noxus if you couldn't sleep we usually ask someone to knock us out. Most effective way to get some shut eye, of course you wake up with some pain in your head but at least you're alert," Riven remarked making Luxanna laugh out loud.

"Then what happens if you hurt them too much?" Luxanna asked.

"Tough luck you just have to deal with it then. No one pities or cares for you if you're weak and can't stand a little pain, which is why we start military training early…so that we could toughen ourselves up."

"Is that how you got into the Noxian military?"

"It's how everyone gets into the Noxian military."

The two of them did not talk for a while and just sat there. It was a strange sight indeed, a Noxian and Demacian sitting side by side talking to each other as though it was normal to do so, Luxanna looked at Riven and asked her a question, "Why did you say sorry to me at the match today?"

Riven looked at her and for a moment Luxanna caught the look of sadness, like something heavy was weighing heavily on her, but it was gone and replaced with a stoic expression. "It was just…a slip of the tongue," she said.

"No one is around Riven…you don't need to act so tough and anti-Demacian…I've seen you with the other Noxians Champions. You don't even make an effort to talk to them," Luxanna said.

"Are you stalking me?" Riven asked her tone taking a slightly humours tone.

"No, I'm just an observant person," Luxanna replied with a smile.

"Yeah well…if they see me talking to you they'll drag me to Noxus and put me on trial for aiding the enemy."

"Aren't you technically dead?"

"Well they can make me alive again with some bizarre reason and then they'll put me on trial." The two women laughed at that before stopping knowing that with Swain in charge anything is possible and having Riven bought before the courts just because she was speaking with Luxanna made the silence even more oppressive as agents could be hiding in the shadows.

"Noxus is almost like Demacia in some ways…" Luxanna commented, "I mean we're not allowed to speak with anyone from Noxus or Zaun and even giving them directions is enough to put you in jail for life or execution if you're really unlucky."

"Wow talk about draconian," Riven said.

"Tell me about it…" there were another few minutes of silence before she turned again, "you never answered my question. Why did you say sorry to me?"

Riven looked downcast for a long while until Luxanna was about to accept that she wasn't going to get anything out of her. But then she spoke to her, "It's just…every time I see you outside of a League match you always have this blank look on your face, like you're…you're trying to be happy but you can't. I hear rumours and gossip…maybe because I don't have anything better to do other than train. But some people say that you shouldn't be here…that you're not suited for life in the League. A-and I felt bad about it a-and…oh gods I don't know!"

This surprised Luxanna since she didn't think that would be what came out of Riven's mouth. She wasn't sure how to respond to her statement as she just sat there trying to figure out a response, "I-I'm sorry I must sound really stupid to say that to you. Of course you're suited to be in the League, why else would the senior Summoners let you in if you're not suitable right?" Riven said laughing nervously as Luxanna balled her hands into a fist.

"Because they got paid…" she said in the most audible whisper imaginable.

"What?" Riven said not hearing it the first time.

"It's because Demacia bribed the senior Summoners…during my Judgement they…they already told Demacia that I wasn't suited. That I wouldn't be able to an effective member of the Demacian team. Of course that didn't go very well with Demacian military command nor with my brother or Prince Jarvan…so they bribed the senior Summoners with money, favours…whatever they wanted…just so they could give me 'another' chance," Luxanna said tears starting to prick her eyes and roll down her face.

"What? H-how could they do that?" Riven asked surprised at this. The standard for all Summoners were very high and it was generally accepted that they were not the kind of people who can be persuaded, with money or otherwise, due to how important the League was to the whole of Valoran. "B-but they all made an oath-"

"Oaths are nothing…nothing in the face of money and human greed," Luxanna said facing Riven with red eyes. "Of course there were a few who didn't think that it was right, that they shouldn't push me if I didn't want to become a Champion." She took a shaky breath and seemed to be remembering something painful, "Have you ever had yoru entire life, from childhood to now, planned by people who you don't even know? Being unable to take control of your own life? To have every moment, every detail, without you being able to say anything?"

Riven was silent for a moment before she slowly shook her head, "Well…welcome to my life. From the beginning when they learned that I was able to reverse engineer spells and turn invisible I was already marked as someone that would become a tool for Demacian politics. Something to be used at their convineience without any regard for my feelings or opinion, within a year of them finding out I was dragged out of my house screaming and put into the Demacian College of Magic. There I was basically trained to become the best covert mage that the world had ever seen, it didn't help that I was a prodigy at it so no matter how hard I tried to act like a fool it would never work…my own mind would work against me. It was complete torture. I wasn't able to see my family for most of the year and the only time that I was able to do so they would just continue to spout how proud they were that they were serving Demacia in ways that they couldn't imagine. It was like…it was like they didn't care that they were sending their only daughter into the military regardless of the outcome, I don't even think they cared at all what I felt at the time."

"I-I didn't know that," Riven said. She had certainly heard rumours about how difficult Luxanna's life had been, how she didn't want to become a member of the military but had to. However they had all been gossip so she didn't pay much attention to them, she wondered how many of them ever knew what Luxanna truly felt when she fought in the League matches.

"No one does…if they do then they ignore it. All for the glory of Demacia right?" Luxanna said with a pained smile, "By the time I was a teenager I was already in Noxus doing undercover work…those days were the worst I had ever lived through. Not knowing whether or not I would be caught and executed as a spy, being unable to talk to anyone for fear of breaking my cover, it nearly broke me Riven…it nearly broke me."

"Then what changed? What made you keep on going?" Riven asked.

"Hope. Hope that one day I would be able to live a normal life. That this nightmare would end and I would be able to forget about it…that's the only thing that kept me sane, gods there were so many times where I just wanted to pack up and go back to Demacia not caring about what the consequences were. But perhaps inside me, just a small bit, wanted me to stay and do my bit in order to make my parents and brother proud of me," Luxanna said.

"I…I can't imagine the kind of suffering you must have been. When I was a teenager I was barely able to make a living on the streets, it's not easy being an orphan on the streets in Noxus you know. You have to be tough, but at least you had other friends that you could count on. I…I can only imagine that you had nobody behind enemy territory."

"Only my handler, but he only came sporadically and he didn't care for what I wanted. The only thing that he cared about were results and what kind of information that I could give to him." Luxanna gave another shaky breath before continuing ,"I'm not sure if you remember this, but shortly after my…mission I was given a parade…you know to celebrate my success."

"I remember…Noxian High Command wasn't overly please that a lone mage had managed to infiltrate their inner offices…I remember them overturning the entire security policy and hiring more mages to figure out what went wrong. Naturally there were a few heads rolling, but that's not uncommon. They even wanted to ruin the parade, you know rattle some sabres but uh…nobody wanted to attack Demacia so they left it at that."

"Yeah well…after that I thought that it would be the end of that, that I would spend the rest of my military career behind a desk job or something like that. That…that didn't happen."

"They asked you to join the League."

"No they _announced it_…they said that my magical skills would come in handy and that I was already accustomed to danger."

"Couldn't you say no?"

"Haha! Say no? To the king? That's a good way to get yourself onto the chopping block."

"But surely they understood that you're not suited for the League, I mean sure you were a good agent, but that doesn't mean that you would be able to fight effectively right?"

"They didn't care. The people loved me and therefore that made me a good candidate for the League, after all if you're the shining hope of Demacia then it would be poor of you to refuse further duties right? Not only that, but they announced it on the day of the parade without even consulting me. It was like they were telling me what my next orders were and they expected me to go along with it like a good little soldier."

"Well…not even soldiers get the chance to choose what orders they follow. Perhaps they thought that you could deal with it."

"Deal with it? Oh yes I've dealt with a lot of things. I've dealt with not seeing my parents or brother for almost the entire time I was in Noxus. I dealt with having to live with the fact that I could be found out and killed without a second thought. I dealt with following orders so vague I spent a week trying to figure out what it is that they wanted me to do. Oh and let's not forget that I've dealt with things that no _human being_ should have to deal with!" before Luxanna laughed, a laugh that bordered on insanity and anguish chilling Riven's spine. After a while she calmed down and took another shaky breath as she by now had run out of tears to cry but the anguish could still be seen in her eyes, "I…I begged them, told them that I wasn't ready, but they didn't care. All they cared about was that I joined the League and if I didn't…" the unsaid words spoke volumes of what would've happened to her.

"So here you are…" Riven whispered swallowing a lump. She had always heard from other people that Demacia, while perfect, still hid shadows that they didn't want people to know about. Coming from Noxians Riven didn't pay much heed to it and simply thought that they were just badmouthing their rival city-state, but hearing first hand from Luxanna about how she was treated and how they regarded her…it made her wonder if she was lucky that she lived in Noxus.

"So here I am. I tried to mess up the Judgements of course and it partially worked, the senior Summoners realised that I didn't want to be there and was about to withdraw my application to the League. But then Jarvan and my brother spoke to them and I can only imagine what they said or gave to the Summoners because suddenly I was cleared and okay to go into the League," Luxanna said as she then gave a big sigh. As though a great weight had been lifted from her shoulders while Riven digested what she had just heard.

"I never knew…does anyone outside of Demacia know about this?" Riven asked.

"No and I don't think other than the king, his son and my brother, oh and my parents too, knew about the bribe," Luxanna said.

"You have to tell someone! I-it's not right that you're here simply because they ordered you to and that they got you through because of bribery," Riven said.

Luxanna shook her head, "It doesn't matter…they'll just say that I'm making it up. That I've been stressed or whatever…then they'll take me back and…and punish me for embarrassing Demacia. It's okay I've made my peace…I'm just going to be a tool for them for the rest of my life."

"No it's not right!" Riven exclaimed. "Look I know what you're feeling alright, I know about being betrayed by your city-state. Look at me. I was the poster girl for Noxus' recruitment drive, I was the person that everyone wanted to be, but what do I get for my loyalty? Being a guinea pig for Singed's chemical weapons and having my whole unit wiped out with only me being the only survivor."

"But at least you're not shackled to Noxus right? You're not longer bound to them so you don't need to follow their every orders right?" Luxanna retorted.

"No, but I'm still here you know why? To show them. To show them that I'm not going to be cowed into submission, that I can still adhere to what it really means to be a Noxian without their help and maybe, just maybe, show them what they have lost since the Ionian Campaign. They don't like it because I'm a rogue element and I can defy them anytime, which is why I don't get called to meetings but I don't care. I'm not going to be labelled as a tool, just to be used and discarded, and neither should you Luxanna. Both of us are human beings with emotions. It's fine to fight and die for your city-state, but we must never ever forget that we're still human. That we have a choice no matter what people say. You can either continue to stay where you are and be pushed around or you can take a step forward and put it all behind you and tell them that you're not going to be pushed around any longer."

"That's easier said than done. You're an exile Riven, you can do whatever you want," Luxanna remarked dryly.

"It maybe so, but it doesn't mean that I'm wrong. The longer that you stay quiet and just do what they say the harder it is to back out once you've had enough. Draw the line with them and at the very least that should have them rethink about ordering you around."

Luxanna looked at Riven and thought about it all. It was true that she could just as well tell both Garen and Jarvan that she didn't want to be a League Champion. That she deserved some rest after everything she had given to Demacia, but would they listen to her? The most likely outcome was that they say she was being stupid and that she should not be so disloyal to Demacia. The worst outcome was that she was locked up in a Demacian dungeon just to teach her a lesson. They weren't going to execute her, not when she was the most popular Champion throughout all of Valoran so in a way she had nothing to lose. Giving a genuine smile she looked at Riven, "Were you always such a pain when your superiors had to give you your orders?" as Riven laughed.

"No like I said I was the poster girl for Noxus. I obeyed every order to the letter, but look at where that got me. I guess you're feeling better now?" Riven asked.

"Yeah…yeah somewhat, I've never had anyone to talk to about this before," Luxanna said.

"How about Ezreal? I heard you two are close," Riven remarked.

"No. We're just classmates."

"You're classmates with him?"

"Yeah he enrolled in the college I came to, but because he has this huge need to just wander around everywhere he goes he dropped out and I didn't see him until we both joined the League. Since then he's stuck to me because he's the only Demacian he can talk to without feeling bored so I guess that's where everyone's perception of us dating came from. But there's nothing between us really, just a normal, friendly relationship you know."

"Well I guess I can tell that to the newspapers, I'm sure that they'll pay real well for that piece of news."

"I'm sure they would, but I don't think a lot of people would believe you no offence."

"No I guess they wouldn't," as the shine of the sun indicated that morning had come, "guess you're not going to sleep anytime soon."

"No I guess I'm not. But it doesn't matter…I met you and that's something that I'm willing to lose sleep over," Luxanna said, "thank you Riven. You're perhaps the first Noxian Champion that hasn't insulted me in the whole entire conversation."

"Your welcome and you're the first Demacian that hasn't looked down on me just because of where I came from." Luxanna jumped off the ledge and began walking towards the door.

"Will…will you be here tonight Riven?" she asked hesitantly. Riven was surprised by that question since she didn't think that there would be a repeat of this, "I-I only ask because…I kind of enjoyed talking with you just now," she said with a hesitant smile.

"Yeah sure I'll be here tonight, I heard there's going to be a full moon so that'll make things better," Riven said as Luxanna smiled brightly.

"See you then," she said before walking down the stairs. Riven stayed where she was for a few minutes before chuckling to herself.

"Who would've known that we share some common points?" she asked herself before also heading down the stairs. Already she knew that she was going to enjoy going up here tonight.

Meanwhile Luxanna arrived at the Demacian dorms still using her invisibility spell, she then went to her room and took it off and came out as though she had just woken up. She was feeling exhausted, but at the same time she felt energized as she walked up to the Demacian common room where Jarvan was laying out the plan for today's match, "Ah Luxanna just in time come here I need to go over with you the plan for today's match," Jarvan said, "we're fighting against a mixed group today, but if you go with Shyvana and support her then-"

Luxanna continued to hear him talk on about strategy as she opened her mouth to say what she wanted to say, but then closed it. It was always like this: she wanted to say something, but the words would die on her lips and it would never go unsaid. She would then follow whatever was ordered for her even though she never wanted to go through with it in the first place. She had her eyes downcast as she decided to just go along with it, what were the chances of them listening to her? However Riven's words buzzed in her ear and something began to echo in her mind.

"_You can either continue to stay where you are and be pushed around or you can take a step forward and put it all behind you and tell them that you're not going to be pushed around any longer."_

With that in mind she took a deep breath, "I'm not going," she said in a firm voice bracing herself for the inevitable fallout.

"And then after that wait what?" Jarvan said as everyone looked up in surprise. They had never heard Luxanna defy an order to attend a match before, "Y-you're not going? What is the meaning of this?"

"I went through two back-to-back matches against Noxus yesterday and that's not including the one I had before then. You're asking me to go again with barely enough time to recover myself? I don't know much about strategy, but I do know that my body and magical powers aren't going to cope with today's match so I'm not going and instead I'm going to recover," Luxanna said still steeling herself.

"Y-you're defying my orders? Demacian command's orders?" Jarvan asked looking enraged at this, "We need to win this match because the whole of Valoran will be watching and you are a vital component to our strategy so you _will_ attend the match."

"I will not," Luxanna said, "you need to be reasonable Jarvan! Even you get exhausted after three matches without any rest even with the help of magic especially a high intense one as I did yesterday."

"Listen to me Luxanna. You will do this or I will put you in the dungeons myself," Jarvan hissed.

"Then do it. I'm not going to be pushed around any longer. I served Demacia loyally and always will, I'm not saying to pull me out of all League matches but I am tired Jarvan and you know how important a soldier's morale and fatigue is in battle. I'm not a tool for you to use and then discard whenever you please," Luxanna said getting more determined and braver with each retort and passing moment.

"Fine! Have it your way! Guards put her in shackles and take her to the dungeon, let's see how she is after a few days in there," Jarvan said. However the guards did not move at all and remained at their place, "I order you to arrest her!" Jarvan said.

"We refuse," one of the guards said, "what Lady Crownguard said has merit. She has fought harder than any of the other Demacian Champions in yesterday's matches. She deserves some recognition for that and therefore a well deserved rest." This clearly did not go well with Jarvan who was now looking livid as he strode towards Luxanna only for Shyvana to stop her.

"They are right my lord," she said, "Luxanna has fought hard and exhaustion is a viable situation. Even I feel exhausted if I had fought in three matches plus she has to recover her magical strength, which no amount of sorcery from the League is able to recover."

"Even you Shyvana?" Jarvan roared before Garen put a hand on his shoulder.

"Enough Jarvan you've been defeated," he said in a jovial way, "come now the plan won't fall apart without Luxanna attending. Fiora is a good replacement and she has been complaining that she hasn't fought in a League match in a while, I'm sure she'll be delighted to take over for Luxanna."

Jarvan did not looked pleased in the slightest and it was clear that he was going to have words with Luxanna. But it didn't matter to her. She was more surprised that it actually worked! That she had managed to somehow get away with the whole thing. She was sure that she was going into the dungeon, no doubt about it, but she didn't expect the guards, Shyvana and even her brother to stand up with her. Knowing that he was defeated Jarvan exhaled, "Fine. Fine do whatever you want," he said as Luxanna mumbled small thanks before quickly going out of the room.

She then went to her room before lying on her bed and smiling, "I'm not a tool…to be used and then discarded," she said to herself. She smiled even wider already thinking on how to thank Riven for the talk. She now knew that even though the two of them had been betrayed by their city-states in more ways than one, as long as they kept on going then they would be able to get through this and perhaps, for the first time in months, Luxanna felt that she could one day have a normal life outside of League matches and Demacian military affairs.


End file.
